Your confidence has a major impact on your level of happiness.
Confidence can determine how much you achieve in life.
When I lack confidence in myself to handle a specific task, I find myself immobilized by fear, uncertainty, and feelings of anxiety. My mind says things like, "I can't", "I don't know how", and "I haven't done this before". The view forward is obscured and the task appears overwhelming.
Have you experienced this? Have you seen it in your children?
Confidence plays an important role in everybody’s life. It is so powerful that confidence early in life has strong influence on a person’s success when they enter the work force.
Fortunately, as it is with most skills, we can maintain and build confidence through regular practice.
Learning new guitar pieces, working through rock-climbing problems, and climbing trees are not only hobbies I enjoy, they also provide opportunities to work on building my confidence.
Working through the challenges I face in these hobbies can either build or diminish my level of confidence. Since tree climbing is a hobby I share with others, it provides me the additional perspective of watching others work through their own challenges.
In working with many climbers through the years, I have noticed that there appears to be three important steps to building confidence: overcome self-doubt, split a hefty goal into a series of smaller goals, and focus attention inward.
Overcoming Self Doubt
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right."
Negative self-talk is the first thing that must go.
As the case with most challenges, if you are to have any chance at successfully climbing to the top of the tree you will need to overcome self-doubt. This doubt tends to be triggered by fear.
Each of us has our own fears to work through. Fear of heights. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of failure. Brand new experiences can be scary.
Simply taking the initiative to try something new may be enough to help you overcome your fear, thereby giving you a boost in confidence. Once paired with the know-how, you are able to pursue your goal for the day.
For others who are still working through their fear, self-doubt creates an obstacle.
My role as a facilitator is to aid you on your journey to reaching your goal. I can show you the technique yet I cannot climb the tree for you. Once you are on rope, my words are all I have to help you. They are more than enough.
Our fears express themselves in the words we use. The words you use have a profound impact on how well you will perform. "I can't" seems to be the most common and inhibiting phrase I hear people say.
These words are typically uttered within one minute of trying to climb. This leads me to believe they are spoken more out of reflex or conditioning.
In order to move forward, we must stop the negative self-talk. We then replace them with positive words like, "I can do this" and "I am doing it." Speaking and thinking positive words and thoughts instills confidence.
Building on a Series of Smaller Goals
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"
Sometimes our goal is so lofty that we have no idea how to achieve it. In order to reach the goal, we will need to break it down into smaller steps.
There are many reasons why this approach leads to success, but I think a primary driver is that it allows us to realize success at each step. This gives us a boost in confidence. With each successive step our confidence continues to grow.
Thomas came to climb with us earlier this summer. When he first arrived, his sight was set on climbing to the top of the tree. He came with confidence.
As he began to ascend, his focus appeared to be strictly on reaching the top. Focused on that goal, he began to struggle because he tried to skip some of the steps involved in the climbing technique.
The sit-stand method is the foundation of the climbing technique. Given the struggle, he naturally resorted to trying alternative methods like pulling with his arms and kicking his legs out. He then realized he was not getting higher. His frustration began to build while confidence plummeted.
When trying to help a person build confidence, they must be allowed to work on their challenges. Personal growth happens through personal experiences of trial and error. Constantly telling a person how to do something or doing it for them robs them of these invaluable lessons.
By having Thomas turn his attention back to the climbing technique, he was able to focus on the fundamental steps. The steps necessary to reach his overall goal.
With his focus back on using his legs versus his arms, he began to regain some of his confidence. After repeating the process a few times, he was able to realize and acknowledge that he had ascended to 15 feet on his own. In a short period of time, his smaller goal of reaching the first branch was achieved. Eventually, his ultimate goal was only a few feet away.
Thomas' goal of climbing to the top was unachievable until he broke it down into smaller attainable steps. With each success, his confidence grew. With each boost to his confidence, he was prepared to take on the next challenge. Gradually, his ultimate goal came into focus.
Do Not Compare Yourself to Others
"It doesn't matter what others are doing. It matters what you are doing."
Building confidence in yourself has nothing to do with other people. Confidence is understanding and knowing what you are good at or the value you provide.
In order to build confidence, you must be focused on yourself and your own experience.
When Thomas began to struggle, his frustration was further compounded when he noticed that others were higher than him. He lost confidence when he confused his ability to perform as well as the others as a reflection on his ability to succeed.
His ability to climb had absolutely nothing to do with how well the other climbers did. Comparing himself to others only allowed negative self-talk to return and diminish his confidence.
Almost like a light switch, when he returned his focus to his own progress, his confidence returned immediately.
Hobbies That Build Confidence
“The more risks you allow your children to make, the better they learn to look after themselves.”
I value activities that challenge me and provide opportunities for growth.
From April through October, I am surrounded by people. My weeks are filled with facilitating tree climbs 6 out of 7 days. With this comes the ability to climb regularly. Together they keep me focused on maintaining and building my own confidence.
With winter rolling in, I will not be in the trees as often. My other hobbies like rock wall climbing, learning guitar, and training for half-marathons take on a bigger part of my weekly schedule. These activities provide many of the same benefits that tree climbing does. They help me remain aware of and practice the 3 steps to building confidence.
The confidence I gain from these hobbies further benefits me when I take on new challenges and pursue new goals in other areas of my life.
I have experienced the power that having confidence in myself provides. I have seen the same in many of you who have climbed with us.
April 14th is the first day of our 2018 climbing season. Until then, I encourage you to seek out other hobbies and experiences that can help you and your children continue to build confidence.
With confidence, happiness and success follow.
As an I.S.A. Certified Arborist, T.C.I.A. Certified Treecare Safety Professional, T.C.I.A. Climber Specialist, and GOTC Recognized Instructor, Curt has spent over 25 years dedicated to the study and care of trees.